Just be twenty three

Current situation: Thunder so fierce that it’s literally shaking my whole house.

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Typically, I would love this stormy Florida hurricane season weather; however, I just finished watching Stranger Things on Netflix and I’m more or less just waiting for the power to go out and an alien to abduct me. Not joking. I even lit some candles and have a flashlight next to me… you know, just in case.

So, until I have to go all Winona Ryder and fight off ET, I figured I would write a post about something I’ve been thinking about lately: Staying single.

I am only twenty three years old. My eggs are not drying up, I’m not destined to be alone forever, I have plenty of time to meet a new man and fall in love again. What I don’t have a lot of time for? Being in my early twenties.

When I was fifteen my dad found out I was out getting drunk with a guy he wasn’t particularly fond of. So, he took me on a ride around our golf course and I sat in the passenger seat of the cart awaiting my punishment. I had been here before. I knew what was coming. Just get through the yelling, find out how long you’re grounded for and be on your way. But this time was different. He stopped the cart under a tree and just looked at me quietly. And then he said words that I will never forget: Lindsey, why don’t you just be fifteen for awhile?”

At the time I didn’t understand the weight of those words, but I knew what he was saying. You aren’t twenty one. You shouldn’t be out with older guys. You shouldn’t be partying. I got the message. I was still a kid, trying to be an adult. We talked for awhile and I did get grounded. However, I didn’t let that stop me from continuing to make my fair share of bad decisions. But for some reason, those words have never left me.

Now, eight years later, I am still thinking of what he said. I need to just be twenty three for awhile. I need to focus on graduating, starting my new career as a teacher, making memories with my friends, traveling to new places, moving out on my own, growing my relationship with Jesus and falling in love with who I am.

I don’t need to spend any more time going on dates with guys I could care less about. I don’t need to be searching for dudes with husband potential. I don’t need to be putting myself, my happiness, on the back burner for happiness in a partner. Not right now. I will have 60+ years to put up with an old ball and chain, but only seven more years of being a selfish-with-her-time-twenty-something-woman.

One day I will be ready for that, but it’s not today. Today I’m ready for pizza, my own schedule and not having to do my makeup for anyone but me.

That being said, I am also fully aware that my life is not in my hands. If God so chooses to interrupt my plans by bringing a man into my life, then that is wonderful. I have full faith in His path for me and will happily share my pizza with the right guy. I’m just not going to go searching for him just yet.

And on that note, I still haven’t been abducted so I think we’re in the clear. The alien would probably just give me back, anyway 😉

 

 

 

 

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